Dreams meant for others
The "I" dreaming for "you"
Just a couple weeks shy of autumn, two of my friends, Piya and Dove, and I spent a Saturday afternoon draped over couches and nestled into a fluffy carpet I kept running my fingers through. Time was like honey, generous, slow stretches of exquisite sweetness. So generous and exquisite that our time together stretched into my dream that night.
Stirring awake, I messaged them both:
She sent this screenshot:
And texted:
Sometimes, we are the portal the dreams come through trying to connect with others.
A few weeks later, Stephanie shared a dream with me that she and I were chatting on Zoom, and my sister walked into the room Stephanie was in (whom she had actually never met!) and said out loud, “Look who’s here!” My sister and I started chatting and were happy to see each other. As she shared about how it made her feel excited for the two of us to be connecting, it struck me at that moment and said aloud, “...[our dreams] are sometimes for someone else.”
I continued to explain that in two weeks I was flying out to Korea to be with my sister, my mother, and my father for our first family trip to our ancestral homeland, a very special trip. This dream from Stephanie felt like another auspicious sign that this trip was an anticipated homecoming. You can watch her share the dream in the video in our previous post, On the joy of having a dream partner, starting at 33:55.
If, in fact, we do have dreams that are meant for others, why does this happen? Perhaps it’s evidence that we are all interconnected and interdependent; even as we sleep, we connect with and aid one another. Ahh~ I’m tickled at the thought that perhaps these are all variations of collective care! And yes, the dreamer is responsible for conveying the dream with care.
Below are some of my thoughts on how dreams that may be for others can be shared with said person(s):
First, spend some time with the dream on your own. Check in with yourself and the dream to sense whether it feels aligned to share this dream with the person. I shared the dream with Piya and Dove out of excitement after our afternoon chats about unseen realms! And Stephanie and I share our dreams the way people talk about what they did over the weekend, so it feels very natural for us to do so.
Next, check in with the person if they want to hear about your dream that included them. In my case, I felt comfortable sharing that I had a dream and describing it because we had spent the previous day delving into similar topics. Similarly, I felt safe with Stephanie sharing her dream about me because we have a standing practice of sharing dreams; it brought us together, after all!
Then, it may be helpful to give some context and content notes if the dream contains things the person may not want to hear about. In my dream, the context was the same as yesterday, and the content felt aligned with our conversations, so it felt safe and exciting to share. Before Stephanie shared her dream with me, she asked if it was OK for her to share it with me, which I eagerly accepted.
And finally, be mindful that the dream is up for interpretation for each of you. Rather than trying to convince the other person of what you think the dream is about, allow for varied resonance and even center the other person’s responses. Ask them open-ended questions about the emotions and thoughts coming up, and consider checking in with them about whether they would like to hear your interpretation. When I shared my dream, Dove volunteered her response. Similarly, as Stephanie shared the dream, my first response was, “I feel like that dream was for me…,” to which she confirmed having the same thought.
Dreams are not something to be claimed, rather what we choose to connect to, build relationships with, and build community through as we presence them in our sharings and receivings, full of care.