Give yourself time to dream
On becoming a society that values rest
In this last day of the calendar year, I am thinking about this quote I saw from Johann Hari’s book Stolen Focus1:
“What does it mean when we have become a society where we literally don’t give ourselves enough time to dream?”
As I write to you, I am writing from the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, where I have just given myself the luxurious gift of a 3-day R&R solo retreat. At Kripalu, this means you aren’t here for a particular program or workshop, and you can participate in any of the regular offerings and classes. It has been amazing. I’ve taken a lot of yoga classes, gone for lovely walks in the woods in the Berkshires, taken workshops on Chinese astrology and tarot, participated in a sound bath and a full moon ritual. It has been utterly exquisite. I have rested deeply.
I also realized while being here that this is the first solo retreat I have been on since my daughter was born. I have spent a night in a hotel by myself, but I haven’t had someone else take care of me - cook for me, lead me, facilitate me, guide me - in this capacity since 2018. As I prepare to leave this morning, my cup is overflowing, and I am prepared to return to do my work in the world from a place of abundance I haven’t felt in a very long time. From a place of care. From a place of rest.
In the gift shop, I also purchased The Nap Ministry’s (Trisha Hersey) Rest Deck with the plan to put it on my desk at work and to encourage anyone entering my office to rest more, to find restfulness, even in this moment right here. The Nap Ministry’s work speaks to this question:
“What does it mean when we have become a society where we literally don’t give ourselves enough time to dream?”
Or, relatedly: what would our society look like if we gave ourselves enough time to dream? If we learned to value rest and dreams?
I invite you to answer that question for yourself, dear reader.
Are you giving yourself enough time to dream? Can you give yourself more? How can you create optimal conditions for it?
What does it mean to you that collectively, we don’t give ourselves enough time to dream?
Being on retreat, I feel so clearly in my bones how nothing - literally nothing - can replace rest. There isn’t enough coffee in the world to compensate. There is no alternative. We need food, water, shelter, and rest. We need each other to rest2.
Dreamtime is integration time. It is liminal wisdom time. It is processing time. It is deep rest time. When I think about this on an individual level, I know when I am not resting well and do not have space to dream, I burn out. I can’t approach my daily tasks in the way I would like to, with peace, patience, and equanimity.
When I think about this on a collective level, I see the devaluing of rest that comes with capitalist productivity grind culture, as Trisha Hersey describes. I see us thinking we need to earn rest rather than seeing it as our birthright by virtue of being alive. I see us devaluing the wisdom that comes through our dreams, this mysterious and essential way of knowing that we are so lucky to experience.
As we approach the end of 2023, moving into the new year, how might you give yourself more time and space to dream? How might you rest more? How might you see giving yourself time to dream as essential to your existence, and essential to the collective?
I invite you, dear reader, if you can, in the new year, to give yourself more time to dream. We need your dreams. The world needs your dreams. We need your rested spirit. We need you to give yourself time to dream. We need to become a society that gives ourselves and each other time to dream.
We need each other to dream.
Happy last sleep of 2023!
Sweet dreams,
Stephanie
Full disclosure: I have not read the whole book, just this quote!
This is a post I wrote for Enchantable on this theme earlier this year, inspired by an activity my students led us on rest as resistance.